Friday, May 29, 2020

#156: Unbarlievable

The Bar


Unbarlievable. 513 W 6th St, Austin, TX 78701

Visited 5/29/20 @ 8pm.

The Drink




Elephant Mule. Kruto Vodka, Owens Ginger Mix, lime. $50.

I'll say it: 96 oz of Moscow Mule is too much Moscow Mule. Actually, 96 oz of anything is a great way to ruin a drink for yourself forever, the way people did back in college with the infamous "tequila nights", where for years afterwards they'd physically recoil at the mere mention of the dreaded liquor. There's a famous quote about law school that "it's a pie-eating contest where first prize is more pie", and this drink is an endurance contest that is so grueling that by the end you're practically begging for a swift drunken death. Unbarlievable makes a decent Moscow Mule, though they lean as heavy on the ice as Sonic does, but it becomes more and more hateful by the drop. It took the two of us nearly two hours to drink, but eventually we retired in defeat, drunker but sadder. 

Incredibly, they also sell an even bigger version: 196 oz, for double the price. The "small" version we got works out to $0.52/oz, so by getting the ludicrous size, which works out to $0.51/oz, you're saving an unbelievable $0.01 per fluid ounce. Act now while supplies last! A regular Moscow Mule copper mug is usually 12 oz, and prices for a Moscow Mule on Sixth Street have ranged anywhere from $5 ($0.42/oz) to $10.50 ($0.88/oz), so if you're looking for an affordable rendition of the last Moscow Mule that you'll want to drink for years, possibly ever, this place does an alright version. Speaking of college memories, if you were thinking of indulging your inner undergrad and absconding with the admittedly pretty cool gigantic copper mug, just know that they make you give them your ID when you order one for exactly that reason. As for me, it'll be a long time before I can even think of a Moscow Mule again without shuddering in horror. This is one of the rare occasions where I do actually resent the bartender for their choice.

The Crew


Karen, Aaron.


Notes


Interestingly, this spot was originally supposed to be another location of the Goodnight, but it appears that coronavirus changed those plans. Unbarlievable was originally a Rainey Street bar, and its new outpost on Sixth had only been open for a week when we spotted it on foot as we were trying to go somewhere else. I've never been to the Rainey location (though I have learned of its owner's charming reputation), so I can't speak for it, but the Sixth Street location is... fine. Unbarlievable leans heavily into the circus/carnival theme, so you'll see lots of big knickknacks strategically placed so that people can take selfies with a big elephant and so forth. It's got a solid patio, and an interior that I bet gets really lit around midnight. 

In terms of culture, it was hard to say how "Rainey Street" it was since so few people were there when we were. Rainey has a very distinct reputation in Austin (I've heard it compared to Uptown Dallas more than once), just because of the yuppie/arriviste/new money bro crowd it attracts, though frankly many bars on West Sixth also have those same vibes to me. Rainey Street has mutated spectacularly in an extremely short amount of time (the inimitable Fed Man Walking's 2012 guide makes for a fascinating time capsule), and while most people probably aren't excited about this particular bar planting a colony on Sixth Street, it honestly didn't feel much different than the bars near it. Oh god... am I a Rainey Street person?

#155: The Iron Bear

The Bar


The Iron Bear. 301 W 6th St, Austin, TX 78701

Visited 5/29/20 @ 6:30pm.

The Drink




Frozen swirl. Rum punch, blue raspberry vodka lemonade. $6.

I hate frozen drinks, but if you make it sweet and (more importantly) cheap enough, you'll have a a happy hour drink I can grudgingly get behind, especially if the temperature is bumping up against 90 degrees like it was that day. The red swirl is the rum punch, with the blue raspberry lemonade entwined. I've been a big blue raspberry fan ever since I was a child, and I'll drink just about anything with that flavor. I didn't know that it wasn't invented until 1958. The highest compliment I can give a frozen drink is that I'm not disgusted with it by the time that I finish it, and I would put this in the upper echelon of the frozen drinks I've been served.

The Crew


Karen, Aaron.


Notes


Replacing Austin Ale House at the corner of Sixth and Lavaca, The Iron Bear is a gay bar that moved to this location due to the redevelopment of their old location on Eighth. I never went to the old location and quite frankly I didn't actually get to see much of the new location since we spent basically the whole time people-watching on their patio, but in the brief moments I was inside it seemed pretty understated and almost divey compared to the other gay bars I've been in, and I understand that this is a deliberate choice on the part of the proprietors. I can't really evaluate it well in terms of its function as a gay bar, but it was a fairly chill spot to hang out and just drink, which is good enough for me.